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Some tips for your first date

First dates are a serious business. You are excited of course... or is it more like being anxious? Below is a list of things to do (an not to do) on your first date...or second, or third. This given that you are interested in a serious long-term relationship of course! - when going for a quick fling some of the points probably won't matter.

Choose the right place. For the first date, meet in a public places - pub, movies, shopping centre, restaurant... not only is this safer, it also keeps the options open to find a convenient ending to the date, should things not work out. Time enough for the more romantic snuggle-on-the-couch dates later on.

Be on time. Yes you might tempted to let your date wait for a while, so as to not appear too eager and interested yourself, but in many cases this will just annoy the date - or at least add to his /her stress levels. Don't do that. A couple of minutes late is acceptable though.

Take the time to look good. First of all, it increases your chances and second - it also shows your date you care enough to make an effort. Of course, tailor this to the circumstances - showing up in full evening dress, heavy makeup and high heels for a stroll through the park is probably overdoing it.

Plan ahead for the date. Have a good plan of where to go and what to do - of course, proposing a few options to your date will be polite and also shows you care for her/his opinion. But when proposing options, phrase it in a way, which demonstrates that you have a preference and can take charge of a situation.

Keep it simple. It might be tempting to get a limo or 99 pink balloons for that first date - but forget these extravagant gestures. Trying too hard will scare people off. The exception here is if you really are a billionaire - then it's totally acceptable to take your date to a romantic dinner at Cote d'Azur with your private plane.

Be yourself. If you start creating a false image of yourself, the relationship you'd like to build will not have much to stand on. Trying to pretend that you are a vegetarian when you're really not, or pretending to be a non-smoker when you really chain-smoke is not going work for long term!

Pick interesting topics. Be prepared with stories and having opinions on different topics. Yes, some of those might not be your favourite topics, but it's still better than letting the conversation die three times in a row (or worse, turning to the topic weather every time the conversation stalls!!).

Be entertaining. Jokes and some light-hearted conversation is always good, it will keep the mood light and happy. Of course, avoid jokes which consistently demean certain groups of people - you'll look like a jerk in no time. And don't forget to laugh at your date's jokes.

Avoid badmouthing prior relationships No matter how horrible your last boyfriend / girlfriend was, don't bring it up. Because the thing going through your date's head will be - what will you be saying about her / him later or?? Mentioning your previous break-ups or the fact you were recently dumped will also lead your date's thoughts in wrong direction.

But don't mention how good your prior relations were either. No need to create an inferiority complex in your date by mentioning how your previous partner was a sexual athlete, looked like a top model, was rich, famous and totally devoted to you. If the topic of exes comes up - keep it simple. Keep it neutral. It's about you, your date and the future, not the past.

Avoid topics on medical history. Bringing up colonoscopy while having a nice gourmet dinner is a no-no. So is your aunt Anna's cancer or the fact that your cousin's friend's niece is a mental case who cannot sleep without prescription medicine.

Don't hog the conversation. Most people like to talk about themselves, so why don't you let your date talk. Ask questions. Be attentive. This way your date will feel as the most interesting person in the world. Be interested in the answers - if all else fails, there is always the catchall of "I understand", said in a sympathetic voice.

But don't ask too personal questions. While showing interest in your date, don't get too intimate in the choice of topics. You might get away with a veiled sexual reference or too, but anything too risqué - and you'll risk scaring away the date.

Whatever you do, don't bring up the topic of marriage and children on the first date. You are there to find the basic compatibilities, not to plan your whole life. Nothing scares the first date off faster than proposing marriage right then and there.

It's ok to discuss some serious topics though, but don't get too pretentious. Unless you know for certain that your date has same interests as you, don't for example discuss your dissertation of Shakespeare's collected works. You'll come across as an utter bore. You might get away with a casual mention of him though.

Be confident. Don't fidget or touch your face or hair all the time. Don't keep looking nervously around. Don't check your watch all the time. You are here with your data and at this means that she / he likes you at least enough to go out with you... and this is good! Act like you two were the two most important people in the world.

Keep eye contact. Smile. Whatever you do, don't stare at other girls or boys! You are here with your date - that means you should focus on him/her. And don't keep texting or making phone calls. Or don't start chatting with other friends. If you see someone you know, keep it brief - you are here with your date. Don't make him or her uncomfortable by ignoring him / her.

Mind your manners. Especially your table manners if you are meeting for a dinner or lunch date. Stuffing your face with food while talking at the same time - that's a no-no. It looks ghastly and it's not going to impress your date.

Don't overdo the drinking either. Yes, a drink or two might make you more relaxed and perhaps help to get into the right mood. Drinking heavily and then embarrassing you and your date in front of everyone is not going to cut it though. Your only hope then is that your date is drunk as well and won't remember anything, but don't bet on it - it's more likely that you'll be going home alone.

When having dinner, offer to split the check if you are a girl. Offer to pay for the food or drinks, if you are guy. Whatever you end up doing depends on the actual circumstances, but at least make the offer.

And finally - try avoiding sex on the first date. At least if you are looking for a longer-term commitment.

Dating is a serious business... and if you can't remember all of the advice above, remember this – be confident, smile, look into your date's eyes a lot and above all, show interest!